Music Together supports pitter-patter of little feet!

Hello Music Together families!

I just wrote a note to a mom who was discouraged after bringing her toddler son to their first Music Together class a couple of weeks ago. The little guy wandered all over the room and didn't appear to notice one bit of what we were doing. Towards the end of class, he was pulling on the door handle, apparently trying to leave! The mom e-mailed me afterwards, obviously embarassed by his behavior and saying maybe it would be best for them to wait and attend a later semester. Knowing that it usually takes new kids two or three classes to become familiar and comfortable with the class environment, I encouraged her to give it another try.

In his second class last week, our roving toddler continued to roam but started to approach the circle at times. Even when he was wandering in the far corners, he was often bouncing to the beat and seemed content, smiling and babbling. In his 3rd class, the balance of attention to class activities versus wandering tipped a little more towards attention. During his travels, he stopped to boogie now and then and allowed his ever-patient mom to touch him in rhythm to the music and sing to him, and he joined us in the circle when the instruments were out. We even heard his singing voice a couple of times as we sang bye bye to the instruments!

For experienced Music Together families, this is probably a familiar story, though it can take much longer than 3 classes for a child to work his or her way into circle participation for most of the class. Is all that wandering about (or sitting quietly and staring) wasted time? Certainly not! After I wrote the following note to the mom, I realized that this information might be helpful to many of you, so I filled it out a little bit and changed names. Please read on to help you get the most from your Music Together class!

I wish all of you a wonderful week!

Kari Richmond
Asheville Area Music Together
www.AshevilleAreaMT.com
828-545-0990

Dear [Patient Mom],

Thank you for trusting me and continuing to bring [Thomas] back to class! He has responded with a lot of musical behavior during class over the past couple of weeks, and as he gets more comfortable with the class routine and grows beyond the phase of exploring every crevice in the building, you'll see and hear more music from him. Listening to the CDs and singing and dancing with him at home will bring out even more musical exploration.

What you are doing in class is absolutely great--sharing some musical activities with him in whatever area of the room he's in part of the time and modeling being part of the group some of the time (that's why I asked you over to pat hands with me and Leah today--often kids will suddenly tune into what their parents are doing when Mom or Dad start interacting with someone else).

Just to reinforce what I've said before, kids (and adults, for that matter) learn best when they're moving. This is supported by research using brain scans and comprehension testing and is why almost every song we do has some kind of movement to accompany it. And of course, some kids in some stages of their development move around more than others. For some children, it's enough to sit and bounce; some kids have to be on the go most of the day; some children go through a stage of go-go-go (especially just before and after learning to walk) and will slow down later. In Music Together, we accomodate all of these stages and styles by simply sharing a community musical experience with each other and allowing our children to view, hear, and participate on whatever level is comfortable and appropriate for them.

How can one tell when a wandering child is actually paying attention? First, know that your child always knows what YOU the parent are doing--he can easily distinguish your voice from the crowd and tell whether you're speaking or singing. Listen for your child's attempts at humming or singing a tone a few seconds after a song ends. Sometimes he'll watch you when he does this; often he'll just hum to himself or whatever toy he's manipulating. Watch for bouncing or repetitive movement--these are the first important attempts at dancing or moving to the beat. Listen for your child's vocalizations after a song to be on or near the last note (resting tone) of the song.

Children learn to make music from us (their parents) for the same reasons and in the same way that they learn from us (parents) how to speak their native language. They watch our mouths, they listen to our sounds, they experiment with their own mouths and sounds, and most importantly...they share in our enjoyment of the experience (which is their entire motivation for learning a skill in the first place!). And after months of exposure and experimentation through the many varied stages of development, the vast majority of children can learn to keep a steady beat and sing in tune, just as most learn to speak and walk. The amazing thing is that with a rich musical environment, most children can learn these skills by age 4 or 5.

I will try to continue to share with you when I hear or see [Thomas] trying out some musical behavior in class, because we don't always recognize musical behavior for what it is. And, I'll work to help you know how to support that musical behavior in class, and most importantly, at home!

Thanks again for your courage in bringing your child to class. I know it can feel like "parent spotlight" sometimes, but rest assured that the other parents in class are more concerned with the appropriateness of their own child's behavior than with judging other parents.

I'm looking forward to seeing you next week!